Yo dont text me then not text me
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
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He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
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