How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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