You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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