I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize