Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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