If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
