My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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