Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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