Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
