I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
