I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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