My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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