So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
