OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
