I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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