this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
