its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
