it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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