This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
