I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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