i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You're a waste of cheezeits
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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