he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
