if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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