and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
