There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize