Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
