something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
