I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
