Are we in a gay sports bar?
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
someone get that fucking seahorse.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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