my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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