thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
