they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
