So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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