Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
