I'm drive I can fine osifer
I bet he comes in French.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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