well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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