Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
She announced her abortion via fbk
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Randomize
