he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
