I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
