maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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