Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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