Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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