so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
