why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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