census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
