please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
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