Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
