So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
