How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
