yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize