Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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