Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
