i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
