imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
