The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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