So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
